I’ve been to a ton of metal concerts over the years… from giant stadium shows like Ozzfest and Metal Masters to concerts in small clubs and bars (which I actually prefer for the most part). In the course of my headbanging experiences, I’ve noticed a trend in who frequents a good number of these shows. Sure, the majority of people I see are your standard metalheads… black t-shirts, leather, tattoos, piercings and all… but then there are those exceptional people who seem to define the entire concert-going experience with their simple presence. Join me as I list out the top 7 of these people. Why 7, you ask? Because the number 10 is overrated. Plus it’s my website and I can do whatever I damn well please. Now, enjoy… and be sure to tell me in the comments if you’ve ever encountered any of these interesting and infuriating folks. If you have any additions for other concert regulars, be sure to let me know in the comments as well.

The “enjoy the taste of my hair” guy
I’ve lost count of the times I’ve been stuck behind some guy with hair down to his lower back and the insatiable need to headbang nonstop. But not just headbang, oh no… a compete upper body bang that results in a rainbow arch of wet golden locks on a direct collision course with your face. I usually find myself thinking, “thanks man, I really wanted to know how to felt to be lashed in the eyes by a weedwacker made of hair.” Usually getting lodged behind this guy isn’t an enjoyable experience as it’s commonly accompanied with the overpowering smell of damp scalp and B.O. Other times, however, he can offer a cool breeze and the faint, pleasant smell of shampoo (depending on if he’d showered that day of course). It really is a toss-up, though the bad greatly outweighs the good qualities of standing behind this person.

The wasted “coming through” guy (aka douchebag)
Thanks, drunk guy… how did you know I was thinking I’d rather absorb this beer through the front of my shirt than through my mouth as I normally do. Drinking beer? Booooooring! I get so much more pleasure stinking of it as it soaks into my clothing. I’m also quite pleased you were able to see with your half-opened eyes that there was in fact a 2 inch gap between the person next to me and myself. Hell, that’s certainly more than enough room for you to charge through without so much as saying a word.